This post is prompted by a fellow patient of mine. When we met for our regular dialysis he gave me an article from The Guardian, written by a journalist who had cancer, and was writing about some of the things that were said to her, both good and bad. We both smiled, because over the years we have all encountered instances of other peoples embarrassment, when talking to us about our illness.
When I was newly diagnosed, I wasn't sure how to communicate my situation, so I spoke to a very good friend of ours who has been through the process, and the one thing I remember from her was that, 'people will surprise you'. She said that most people will be brilliant but some, wont! She was absolutely right.
As we know, everyone deals with their illness in different ways. Some don't want to talk at all, others will only tell close friends and family. I felt that if I was going to be sick and my appearance was going to change dramatically, and I wouldn't be socialising etc, I needed to tell people and explain what was going on. That way they could understand what was happening.
' I fully understand ' How can they?
' Be positive ' No one can make someone feel positive, who isn't.
' Keep fighting ' We're not fighting, just trying to survive.
' You're so brave ' Personally, I don't consider myself to be so. A lot of people have said this to me, to which I say, that I had no choice with the issues I face. If I had gone into a burning building to rescue someone, it would be my choice, therefore I might be described as brave.
showing that they don't know how to deal with the situation. It is borne more out of a lack of knowledge/experience, than anything else.
Can you think of any examples, good/bad of things that people have said? Please feel free to share them, on the comments section below this post.
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